Be Who
You Are
Couples and Individual Therapy for Adults Who Want Better Connection and a Real Way Forward
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In-Person in Cedar Knolls, New Jersey
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You've Become Two Ships Passing in the Night
Saturday is still good. A long walk, dinner somewhere you both like, one real laugh, and for a few hours you remember why you picked each other.
Then Monday comes. One of you gets home wiped out and wants to be left alone, and the other has been talking for ten minutes without any sign of being heard.
By Wednesday, one of you feels alone in the relationship and the other feels like nothing is ever good enough. That flicker on Saturday is exactly what makes the rest of the week hurt.
You know what's possible. You just can't get there on a Tuesday.
You Need Some Hope and Someone Who Won't Take Sides
You've tried the talk at the kitchen table. It goes fine for a while, then it turns into a fight, and lately the fights are getting worse.
Some of you have already tried couples therapy and walked out feeling like the therapist had picked a side. That's a hard thing to sign up for twice.
What you want is simple to say and hard to find: a little hope and a third person in the room who works alongside both of you rather than refereeing.
The individuals who call us come in alone, and their trouble is quieter and harder to name.
Listen to the Way You Talk to Yourself
There's a constant hum of worry: your health, your job, whether you said the wrong thing in a meeting three days ago. Sleep is light, your shoulders never quite come down, and the apps and the breathing tips haven't touched it.
You're kind to everyone around you. The voice in your own head gets none of that kindness, and it's been running the show for so long you barely hear it as a voice anymore.
We want to know what the anxiety is protecting you from. That's where the real work starts.
For some of you, that voice has a very specific origin.
You Cut Him Out and the Guilt Came Anyway
Growing up with him was hard, and it's still hard now. He was abusive, or he drank, or every conversation somehow ended up being about him.
You made the decision to cut back or cut him out completely. The guilt showed up anyway, and you can't stop thinking about him.
And your own relationships follow an arc you can see coming: an intense start, then a pull to back away the minute someone gets close. Understanding that arc hasn't been enough to change it.
You want to move on and be okay with it. That's a reasonable thing to want.
Bring Us the
Quiet Stuff, Too
Nobody here needs you to be in crisis.
The youngest left for college, the life you organized around everyone else doesn't fit anymore, and you're not sure what comes next, or whether you even want the marriage that's left. That's enough.
Or you've been "doing okay" for years. The low mood crept in slowly, you stopped seeing friends, and you've talked yourself out of calling because other people have it worse.
Here's our position on that. Help isn't something you earn.
Grab Life by the Horns,
One Baby Step at a Time
Most people who call us have one question: “Can this get better?”
In our experience it can, when you're willing to do the work, and the work takes time. We ask for about six months of consistent effort, and we'll tell you now that some weeks are two steps forward and two steps back.
Those weeks count, too. That's what real change looks like up close.
Meet The Morris Guild of Psychotherapy
We're a small group practice in Cedar Knolls, New Jersey, founded by Andy Lapides, MSW, LCSW, BCD. Andy has done this work for more than 20 years and spent about eight of them on the Rutgers faculty, training new therapists.
Andy also lived a version of the difficult-parent story himself, so you won't spend your sessions educating him.
Alyson O'Neill works with young adults and older teens.
Every person who walks in here gets seen, heard, and accepted exactly as they are. That part is nonnegotiable.
Expect Plain Talk and Some Homework
We draw on a handful of proven approaches (Gestalt, psychodynamic, person-centered, and Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples), and we choose what fits you. In plain English: we pay attention to what's happening right here in the room, we figure out where a pattern began, and you set the pace.
Clinical jargon is pointless, so we skip it and talk to you like a person. We'll hold your feet to the fire when you need it, gently enough that people thank us for it.
With couples, nobody gets refereed and nobody gets sided against. We step into your world as a third presence who can feel what's off in the room, often before either of you can name it, and then we hand you something practical to try, like turning the TV off one night a week and just talking, face to face, without fixing anything.
With individuals, the work is understanding why you are the way you are, then going out and trying something different in real life. Come in, talk to us, we work on it, you go try it. Then you come back, and we look at what happened.
Pick the Service That Fits You
Picture Yourself Six Months From Now
For the couples we've worked with, six months in has looked like this: one of you leaves work at a reasonable hour, and the other asks for what they need instead of going quiet. The TV goes off one night a week, you book the vacation, and somewhere in there the two of you stop bracing and start leaning toward each other again.
For the people who came in alone: the hum of worry gets quieter, and you get more flexible, flexible enough to join a rec league and enjoy it. You're dating someone, slowly and on purpose this time.
Friends are back on the calendar, and you've started figuring out what you want, which is a very different question from what everyone else wants from you.
None of that is a promise, and progress rarely runs in a straight line. These are composites drawn from many years of this work, with the details changed. Every one of them started with a phone call.
Clients' Experiences
I recently returned to Andy's practice after having been a client several years ago. I highly recommend Andy for his ability to create a peaceful and comfortable environment that makes it feel safe to share. He is kind and understanding, and he finds the right balance between listening well and directing focus on the important aspects of any given issue. Andy is an extremely genuine person, and I particularly enjoy his use of humor and feeling of comradery that makes me feel supported and validated. Whether you are new to therapy or looking for a better fit, I encourage you to see Andy. Based on my experience in his professional care, I am hopeful that with his support and expertise, I will be able to improve my ability to handle what I am currently struggling to manage. For anyone just starting out or skeptical (I was), therapy is not about a total immediate change in your circumstances, but rather more about finding ways to identify and work on your specific issues over time. It brings about a gradual change in your outlook and feeling of agency that serves to improve your emotional health and help you work toward your goals.
Andy is fair, honest, and caring. He creates an open and welcoming environment backed by patience and compassion. I've enjoyed his active approach and have taken a great deal from working with him.
I would highly recommend Andy. As a wife, I so appreciated that Andy addressed my husband's depression as something that affected our entire family. Sometimes I was included in sessions and sometimes we communicated by text or phone. When things came to a critical head, Andy kept my feet to the fire to make difficult decisions. Thank you, Andy, for guiding us through this dark time.
My sessions with Andy Lapides are very beneficial. He helped me navigate a difficult breakup after living with my partner for several years as well as deal with long-term issues I have with my parents. Talking with Andy, I've found value in myself and been getting better at coping with my anxieties. I also feel more independent and in control of my life and emotions thanks to him. He is relaxed, genuine, and works hard to guide me come to my own conclusions. Andy is an excellent therapist.
I have struggled with anxiety and low self-esteem most of my life. Andy has helped me in more ways I can even say. He has helped me to feel better about myself and have the courage to be more assertive in my life. He looks below the surface and really lets me express myself freely. When I struggle with hard times I know I have a nonjudgmental and compassionate support system in Andy. I have found it difficult to find an intelligent therapist who is also down to earth, but Andy is truly that. I would highly recommend him to anyone seeking therapy.
Make the Rest of the Week Feel Like the Weekend
You already know what's possible, because you've felt it, on a good Saturday or in a quieter moment with yourself. Let's build toward more of that, on more solid ground than you're standing on now.
CALL FOR YOUR FREE 15-MINUTE CONSULTATION